An Introduction II

So, dear Reader (if I have any yet) I know you've been waiting with bated breath for this second installment of Top Meadow. I can tell you I have too. I generally have no idea what's going to end up on the screen until my fingers hit the keys. So, without further ado, let's get started...

I'm 47 years old, a white male citizen of the Midwestern United States. I've been married three times, twice to the same woman (I have no idea why, either). I'm currently single, a widower, father of two (by my first wife), stepfather of six (the children of my second). My kids live with their mother, we're a bit estranged due to the tension between their mother and I. Four of my six step kids live locally with their dad, we see each other regularly. They're the light of my life.

My birthday's April 30 (cash only please). I'm a Taurus, if you put any stock in that kind of thing (I don't).

I was raised in the midwest, the oldest of three by adoption into a middle class Catholic family. My primary education was provided by the Sisters of Notre Dame. My secondary education by the Oblates of St Francis de Sales. Both of these religious orders have my deepest gratitude. When I finally acknowledged the values they had imparted to me during my formation, I found those values to be true and useful.

In my elementary school days, I entertained thoughts of the priesthood. I really believe it's a pretty common experience for young men who are seriously Catholic. I wanted to attend a high school seminary program. I let my folks talk me out of it, a decision i now regret, but perhaps was for the best.

I was raised in a loving, if alcoholic, home. My father came from a family of hard drinking Germans, so he came by his alcoholism honestly. He was strong as a bull and as stubborn as one, as well. He worked two jobs all of his life. He was a distant man who wanted to love, but really didn't know how to. My mother was of German extraction as well, but they were temperate people. Her way of showing love was material. I have no idea from whence her drinking came.

Following a brief and futile attempt at college, instead of following a religious calling I became a soldier. In the profession of arms I found a home. I excelled. I loved the Army and the Army loved me. In soldiers I found some of the finest people I'd ever met in my life. Although a coarse lot, who must, due to the nature of their job seem a bit distant and gruff, I found most of my comrades to be among the most caring and giving people I'd ever met. Few professions call upon their adepts to sacrifice more than the profession of arms. I love those guys. I ended up spending twenty-one years with the colors, eleven of those on active duty. I was deployed overseas twice.

It should surprise no one, however, to learn that military service is hard on marriages and family life, Long duty hours, deployments, and separation from family is difficult and some are unable to overcome these challenges. My marriage was no exception. Combine that with the family tradition of alcoholism I proudly carried on, my selfishness, and a propensity for marital infidelity and it should be no surprise that my marriage failed - twice. Seriously, she married me twice! The one bright spot of that union is the two wonderful children born of it. My wife has since remarried. I hope she's happy. I pray for it daily. I'm estranged from my children, a bright, energetic and strapping boy; a bubbly, free spirited girl. I miss them very much.

My religious journey during these years suffered as a result of my deteriorating morals. My personal experience is indeed that sin darkens the intellect. I could rationalize all of my behaviors. The young man of my high school years slid from devout to observant; observant to lapsed; lapsed to a vague theism; to deism; to a pronounced agnosticism.

The breakup of my marriage should have been no surprise to me. Actually I was stunned.

Do I have you on the edge of your seat yet, dear reader? I, myself, can hardly wait to see what's next.

In our next installment, An Introduction III (I'll get better with the titles, I promise). I'll deal with hitting bottom and recovery. If you sense the influence of a 12 step program here, you're right.

Until then, though, all the best. Joe.